Middle Earth Football League
by Rose G
Summary: Some random nonsense about the Fellowship, and football teams that I came up with. Now added - what players the Fellowship are like Please r/r
1. Teams

Middle Earth Football League   
By Rose G   
  
Disclaimer - All Tolkien's, not making money. The football teams are not mine.   
  
This is what you get when you let me lose around Tolkien and Football Focus on BBC1. Me wondering about what teams the characters would support and why. BTW, I am a major Arsenal fan, so my views on the other clubs are one sided. Anyone who doesn't know all about the English League will not get any of this.   
  
  
  
Aragorn - West Ham United. Full of promise, but with an uphill slog to prove it. Everyone respects them, but no one really knows them. Able to change very quickly from one look to another.   
  
Gandalf - Manchester United. Leaves everything to the very last moment. Always wears a bright strip. The most powerful team around, and has lots of less powerful friends. Has an ongoing row with Arsenal.   
  
Frodo - Canvey Island FC. A tiny club that goes a long way in competitions that are too large for it, and wins many friends along the way.   
  
Sam - Plymouth Argyle. Well used to supporting lost causes, such as Frodo. Easy going doesn't like travelling and rarely has any idea of what he's doing.   
  
Merry - Southampton FC. The team everyone forgets, as they are tucked away out of sight. Never complains but just gets on with it. Somehow manages to get good results, and not afraid of a struggle.   
  
Pippin - Wimbledon FC. The Crazy Gang. Always up for a laugh, thought hopeless by most, but can pull off major shocks. Also never stops eating even after defeat.   
  
Legolas - Chelsea FC. Very flashy and upfront. Makes strange alliances with foreigners, but never stays with them for long.   
  
Gimli - Leeds United. Not pretty but dour. Not afraid to get physical and slug it out for hours on end. Wary of anything new, strange or flashy, and highly successful. Also, richer than they should be.   
  
Boromir - Sheffield Wednesday. Reckons he and he alone ought to rule the city. Not above using force, and a scrounger.   
  
Faramir - Sheffield United. Reckons he ought to rule the city. Not quite as good as the other team, but very tough. Not everyone's first choice - an acquired taste that you can fall in love with. Maybe.   
  
Elrond - Liverpool FC. Been around for years, and always winning. Respected by everyone, loved by hardly anybody. Very fond of singing, and keeping people in their right place. Used to their favourites being stolen by others.   
  
Treebeard - Preston North End. One of the oldest clubs in the world. Takes ages to do nothing, and has a special friendship with Manchester United.   
  
Sauron - Arsenal FC. Much as I love them. Dishes out violence but can't take it back. Extremely ancient defence, and a dangerous front line. Never quite gets as much power as he would like. Always comes off second best, and has ongoing rows with Manchester United.   
  
Saraman - Leyton Orient FC. Similar to Arsenal, but always looking up to them. Would love to make a name for themselves, but haven't got the guts.   
  
Nazgul - Galatasaray. A thoroughly nasty club that plays in black, with thoroughly evil supporters.   
  
Tom Bombadil - The German National side. Very strange. What else is there to say?   
  
Halbarad - West Ham Reserves. He gets on mine, and definatly Aragorn's reserve string, willing to fight forever to please the first team, but not as good as their boss.   
  
  
  
All right, for most normal people this probably wasn't very funny, and the references didn't make any sense. That is because I am a football fanatic, utterly obsessed, and I live in a football mad area. There are no supporters for Spurs because no one is daft enough to support them (sorry Spurs fans, but up the Gunners!) and I didn't mean to offend any Galtasaray and German fans, this is just my opinion of the clubs in question.   
The bit about West Ham Reserves is Cockney Rhyming Slang that I know well, me being an East End gal, and means nerves.


	2. Players

Middle Earth Football

Rose G

A/N - This is just more 'humour' about the Fellowship and football, in this case what players or managers the characters are like. The clubs listed for the players are their present clubs.

Aragorn - Alan Shearer, Newcastle United. An old campaigner, fighting for his last chance to win his rightful titles. Travelled all around the country and came back home. A great leader by example, strong, brave and still kindly even if he isn't flashy. Admired by everyone and greatly loved.

Gandalf - Ole Gunnar Solskjar, Manchester United. Arrives very quickly to save everyone at the very last moment. Rarely there at the start. A foreigner.

Frodo - Michael Owen, Liverpool. Got dropped into the deep end when very young and didn't have much time to get used to it. Come good and won the day. 

Sam - Emille Heskey, Liverpool. Uh, Mr. Owen, can you pass to me please? Uh, I'm on my own. What do I now? Mr. Owen, can I lick your boots please? 

Pippin - Harry Redknapp, Portsmouth. A lovely character with a sense of humour but not too many brains. Loves eating.

Legolas - David Beckham, Manchester United. A very silly hairstyle, rather girly, extremely light on is feet and lethal when he takes aim.

Gimli - Dennis Wise, Leicester City. Very short and quick tempered. Able to start a fight in an empty room and likes tunnels and his family. Adores cups. Speaks with a funny accent and makes strange alliances.

Boromir - Gary Neville, Manchester United. A silly jumped up twat who thinks he's better than everyone is. Pretty useless at defending his team-mates and always competing with his brother. 

Faramir - Phil Neville, Manchester United. A silly twat but still better than his brother. A better leader of the defence. Less experienced than his brother but a nicer person. 

Elrond - Terry Venables, ITV. Knows exactly how to run the club / country / world but no one listens to him. Has funny hair, and a dark, mysterious past. Agent Smith / England job?

Treebeard - Tony Adams, Arsenal. Knocking on a bit, seen everything and fought back despite the odds. Tough to defeat, a fighter and a good leader.

King Elessar - Sven-Goran Erikksion, England. The great leader of the country. Everyone's hero. A great battle winner against the old enemy and a military genius, even if he is a foreigner. 

Sauron - Gazza, Everton. Had talent and threw it all away. Put too much of himself into other things. Pitied rather than hated. No longer fair to look at and loss of talent means use of brute force.

Saraman - Sol Campbell, Arsenal. From a Spurs fans POV, a disloyal little traitor who went to the worst possible team. 

Orcs - Nicholas Annelka, Liverpool. Don't want to. Can't make me. Shan't. Won't. I hate everyone. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Oh, I just got dropped again.

Nazgul - Referees, everywhere. Play in black, are thoroughly useless, terrify the poor players and can't see anything. Evil people!

Apologies are due to: Heskey, who probably isn't that useless, Beckham who saved England with that free kick against Greece, Wise, who speaks with a lovely accent the same as mine, the Nevilles who can be fairly effective, Adams, my hero and Campbell who does a lovely job for the Gunners. 


End file.
